1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,227 Lighten up. 2 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,431 Didn't anybody tell you it's Christmas Eve? 3 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:10,270 - Ho, ho, ho. - Be charming to our guests. 4 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,208 - Where's Miss Holt? - She had some errands to run. 5 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:15,042 Has she forgotten this is an office in which we conduct business? 6 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:17,241 Ho, ho, ho. 7 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,046 - He's getting paid 25 bucks an hour? - That's the going rate, chief. 8 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,747 Christmas doesn't hold any special memories for you, does it? 9 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:27,088 What the hell is going on here? 10 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,921 This is the most bizarre Christmas Eve I've ever spent. 11 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:33,074 Oh. Merry Christmas. 12 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,916 Oh. Wait a minute. Let me fill that glass for you. 13 00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,889 - Uh, who made the eggnog, Mildred? - I did. 14 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,876 - From my mother's recipe. - Oh. Apparently Mom was a teetotaler. 15 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,760 - From my mother's recipe. - Oh. Apparently Mom was a teetotaler. 16 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,887 A little bit light on the rum. 17 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,161 We wouldn't want to send anyone home half-gassed. 18 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:51,863 Well, I'll just finish this up and be on my horse. 19 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:54,098 Judith and the young ones await. 20 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,107 Thanks for stopping by, Jack. 21 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,439 - Merry Christmas. - Merry, merry. 22 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,406 Boss? 23 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,244 Come on out and join the fun. 24 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:09,082 - It's obscene, Mildred. - What is? 25 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,589 I tried to play tennis this morning. 26 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,591 It was too hot. 27 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:17,094 Well, yeah. It is a little warm for December. 28 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,064 Ninety-seven degrees is more than a little warm. 29 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,727 Ninety-seven degrees on Christmas Eve is obscene. 30 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:26,396 There should be big fat snowflakes falling... 31 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:28,906 Jack Frost nipping at your heels. 32 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,808 Mmm. Speaking of things nipping at your heels, where's Miss Holt? 33 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:36,905 - She had some errands to run. - What? It's a quarter past 4:00. 34 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:40,383 Has she forgotten this is an office in which we conduct business? 35 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:43,250 We don't have any business to conduct. 36 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:47,292 This is "goodwill towards men" time. Crime's on a holiday. 37 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,294 Well, even if a client did wander in here... 38 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,559 she would probably be trampled to death with all those freeloaders out there. 39 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:56,100 - Oh, I know what's the matter with you. - Oh? 40 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,932 Yeah. You're grumpy 'cause you haven't done your Christmas shopping. 41 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,598 I am not grumpy. As for not doing my Christmas shopping- 42 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,700 You haven't done it. Men always wait till the last minute. 43 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,746 Well. Miss Holt did hers in August. 44 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,247 Hmm. Probably bought us all mufflers. 45 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:16,112 Remington Steele Investigations. Happy Holiday. 46 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:19,851 Merry Christmas, Mildred. How's the open house going? 47 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:23,690 - Oh, we're a smash- for the most part. - Mmm. 48 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:27,562 - Is Mr. Steele in? - Oh. With bells on. 49 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,727 - Miss Holt. - Oh. 50 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,930 Ah, the lost patrol! Hmm. 51 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:36,065 I'm on my way in. Be charming to our guests. 52 00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,268 It's the season to be jolly, you know. 53 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,403 Ho, ho, ho. 54 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,641 - I'll get you some eggnog. - Whoopee. 55 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,985 - Here you go. All right. - I can't stay long. 56 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:53,784 Oh. I'd like you to meet Eva Wilson, chief. She's our plant lady. 57 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:57,659 - I can't stay long. - Ah, yes. I know the feeling. 58 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,062 - Here's your eggnog, chief. - Oh. Thank you, Mildred. 59 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,066 I have to go out for a few minutes. Okay, Mildred? 60 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,068 - Bye-bye. Nice to meet you. - Bye. 61 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,502 - Say, Steele. - Yes? 62 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:09,302 You wouldn't have anything to give this more Christmas spirit, would you? 63 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,503 Miss Krebs is in charge of the spirit. Okay? 64 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,637 - Oh, Um- - Excuse me, will you? 65 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:17,580 - I can't stay long. - Okay. Bye-bye. 66 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,584 - Mr. Steele? - Yes? 67 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,711 - Allison Greene. - Oh, hello. 68 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,415 Cohen, Campbell and Carstairs on 22. 69 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,890 Oh, yes! Of course! Excellent attorneys. 70 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,223 We're an advertising agency. 71 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,231 I'm sorry. I got my Cohens confused. 72 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,665 Well, it's always delightful to meet one's neighbors. 73 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:38,669 I suggest you talk with the plant lady. She can't stay long. 74 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:43,705 - Psst. How are your feet? - Mm-hmm? Hmm? My feet? 75 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:48,372 Dr. Scabbard. S. Wilson Scabbard- on eight. 76 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:51,917 - A pleasure to meet you, Dr. Scabbard. - I am a podiatrist... 77 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,249 and I couldn't help noticing, but you seem to be favoring your left foot. 78 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,688 What is it? Corn? Bunion? Ingrown toenail? 79 00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:00,884 New shoes. 80 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,826 "There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip. 81 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,194 Nay. Her foot speaks. " 82 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,199 Do you know who said that? 83 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,532 No, but I'm sure I'm gonna find out. 84 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,403 Shakespeare. Troilus and Cressida- act 4, scene 5. 85 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:20,241 "Feets don't fail me now. " You know who said that? 86 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,246 I can't say that I do. 87 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,248 Charlie Chan's chauffeur. 88 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:27,217 Shanghai Cobra. Monogram, 1945. 89 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,220 I've always felt those words to live by. 90 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,290 Good day, sir. Oh, boy. 91 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:35,589 Ho, ho, ho. 92 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:38,061 I couldn't have said it better myself. 93 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,894 Pardon my French, but where the hell have you been? 94 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,230 You were supposed to be here at 2:00. It's after 4:00. 95 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:47,568 - Shut up. - Hey, mind your mouth, buster. 96 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:50,233 I'm not paying 25 bucks an hour for a surly Santa. 97 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:53,744 - He's getting paid 25 bucks an hour? - That's the going rate, chief. 98 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:56,781 - You Steele? - Have some eggnog, Santa. I'm sure it'll cheer you up. 99 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,783 - What's your hurry, pal? - Business appointment. 100 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,649 Stick around, pal. The party's just getting started. 101 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:05,417 Not with you, it isn't. Go back to your reindeer and sit on an antler. 102 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,288 Sit on this! 103 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:08,985 - Ooh! - Mildred! Mild- 104 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,326 You want the next dance, pal? 105 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:19,032 Hey, which way's the Remington Steele office? 106 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,038 You're a little late, aren't you? 107 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:24,041 Weren't you supposed to be here at 2:00? 108 00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,873 Come on. 109 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,943 Merry Christmas, everybody. How's the party... 110 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,454 going? 111 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,689 - Donner? - Dancer. 112 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,726 - Prancer? - Right. 113 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,524 - Everything taken care of? - Just like you told me. 114 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,463 What's going on? 115 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:50,627 Why is Santa holding a gun? 116 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,704 I haven't found out yet. 117 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,706 I told them I can't stay long. 118 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,776 I haven't finished my rounds. 119 00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:01,244 Oh, yes. My, my. Look at the time. 120 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,281 Kiddies are waiting for me. 121 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,282 I, uh- 122 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,353 I have to decorate the tree and all that. Christmas Eve, you know. 123 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:11,184 - They'll be wondering what happened to Daddy. - One more step... 124 00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:14,487 and they'll be reading about what happened to Daddy. 125 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:19,525 Is this a robbery? Because if it is, I have nothing. 126 00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,532 I have absolutely nothing of value. 127 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,867 Oh, this isn't a real Cartier watch. 128 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,499 No, no. It's a knock-off. Like they make in Hong Kong. 129 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,676 - Donner? - Prancer? 130 00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:39,774 No, no. I'm Prancer. He's Dancer. 131 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,854 Oh. 132 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,419 - Did you make your deliveries? - Right on schedule. 133 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,790 Aah! 134 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,766 Damn silencer. It throws off your aim, you know? 135 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,768 You're lucky, pop. 136 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,804 I was trying to hit you in the gut. 137 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,874 Lock it. 138 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:09,647 Let me get this straight. We're being held prisoner by a bunch of Santas? 139 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,240 You got it, pretty face. 140 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,443 - What now? - We wait. 141 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,753 What... exactly are we waiting for, gentlemen? 142 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,885 Blitzen. 143 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,606 You know what to look for. 144 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,750 - Okay, sit yourself down. - Easy. 145 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:48,752 - There you go. All right? - Okay. 146 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,754 - Yeah. - Okay. 147 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,051 Oh. 148 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,288 Easy. Easy. 149 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,364 Sorry. 150 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,869 Oh, it doesn't look too serious. 151 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,872 The bullet only grazed the foot. 152 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,874 - All right. - There you go. 153 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,876 It is kind of ironic though. 154 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:15,846 - What? Wh-What's ironic? - A podiatrist being shot in the foot. 155 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:20,146 I- I don't find it to be ironic. I find it to be... very painful. 156 00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:24,484 - You really put your foot in it that time, Laura, eh? 157 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,559 Wh-What kind of confidence are my patients gonna have in me... 158 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,992 if they see me walking around with a limp, huh? 159 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,961 Mmm. 160 00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:36,466 Without appearing to pry, Prancer- 161 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,935 - Donner. - Sorry. 162 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,563 You all look alike under those beards. 163 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,574 Well, that's the general idea. 164 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,110 Uh, Christmas Eve- The city's lousy with Santas. 165 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:49,272 - Nobody looks twice. - I should have gone straight home. 166 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,282 I don't even celebrate Christmas. 167 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,251 It's not fair. It's not fair- 168 00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:57,789 getting shot on a holiday that you don't even celebrate. 169 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,087 I got a good mind to sue you. 170 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,184 After all, this happened on your premises. 171 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:06,594 It's your legal responsibility. 172 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,600 What makes you think you're gonna be alive to sue anybody? 173 00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:12,500 What? Wh-What do you mean? 174 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,540 Look, I can't afford to die. Not now. 175 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,543 I just opened up a branch office in Encino. 176 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,409 I'm very highly regarded in my field. 177 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,678 I have been called "The Podiatrist to the Stars. " 178 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,446 - All right. Where is it? - What? 179 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,989 Your hardware. 180 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,826 This may sound lame... 181 00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,897 but we have trouble locating it ourselves sometimes. 182 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,899 You can't kill me. Who would take over my practice? 183 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,901 I'm a one-man office. 184 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,870 - Find any? - Uh-uh. 185 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,906 Well, Dancer says to keep looking. 186 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,773 Listen. Let me tell you for your own good- 187 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,778 Come up with the hardware. 188 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,780 Now, Dancer likes to use that gun. 189 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,782 You saw what he did to the doc. 190 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,444 Give him an excuse, and he'll do worse to all of you. 191 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,114 - Could be in the reception. - Hey, stay put.! 192 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,283 You go. 193 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,452 Dancer likes to look at pretty girls. 194 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:14,229 This is the most bizarre Christmas Eve I've ever spent. 195 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,063 - Mmm. - Oy! 196 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:19,069 Yeah. 197 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:22,140 Well, uh, perhaps I can assist you in here, eh? 198 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:28,977 - Where are you going? - You want the agency gun? It might be out here. 199 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,276 No. Why don't you sit down... 200 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,614 take some weight off those lovely ankles of yours. 201 00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:41,760 You look, Brunhilde. 202 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,764 Excuse me. 203 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,343 Do you mind if I get some more eggnog? 204 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,612 My throat's parched. 205 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,381 You're gonna drown it. 206 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,551 It's dying! Don't you understand? 207 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:19,222 It needs food and water and sunshine. 208 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:22,960 It shouldn't be locked away here in this florescent dungeon. 209 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,059 What are you, one of those hippies? 210 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,366 You got a peace sign tattooed on your butt? 211 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:31,136 A plant's a living, breathing thing. 212 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,909 It's all right, Eva. It's all right. 213 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,575 Everything's going to be fine. 214 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:40,652 Come on. 215 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:45,183 Hey, Eggnog? 216 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,885 You one of them peaceniks too? 217 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,587 No. I'm just a stockbroker. 218 00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:52,721 Was you in the army? 219 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,268 Um-Actually, no. 220 00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,336 I was 4F. 221 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,598 I had rheumatic fever as a child. 222 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,936 I bet you had a note from your doctor. 223 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,609 - Were you in the service? - Yeah. 224 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,948 See any action? 225 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:14,508 Enough. Enough to get a Silver Star. 226 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,850 They don't just hand them around, you know. 227 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,220 You got to waste a lot of slugs to get a Silver Star. 228 00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,453 I have had just about enough of this. 229 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,529 Now, my secretary knows I'm down here... 230 00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:27,190 and if I don't return, he's going to get very suspicious. 231 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:30,063 You got a guy for a secretary? 232 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:33,263 Oh, sure. We're an equal opportunity employer. 233 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:36,899 You see? The world is upside down. 234 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,910 A broad who's a dick. A guy who's a secretary. 235 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,139 Somebody ought to drop the bomb... 236 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,273 so we can start all over again.! 237 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,374 - Clean as a whistle. - Okay, Dancer, drop your gun... 238 00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,385 or I swear I'll let Prancer have it. 239 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:53,151 - I'm Donner. - You drop him, I drop you. 240 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,420 Or I might just blast right through him. 241 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:58,223 - And then when he goes down- - Hey, come on, Dancer! 242 00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,230 Shut up! 243 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,698 Now, either way... 244 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:05,793 I'm gonna use you for target practice, Brunhilde. 245 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,607 Get up. Get up. Move, move. 246 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:20,180 Go ahead, pretty boy. Take your best shot. 247 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:23,949 You get me before I get you, all these nice people can go home. 248 00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,558 Do it, Steele! 249 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,686 Pull the trigger.! 250 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,696 What's the matter, pretty boy? 251 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,698 Ain't any of these slugs worth dying for? 252 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,136 - No. - Boss! 253 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,948 Kick it over here. 254 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,312 Oh, don't blame yourself, chief. 255 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:30,411 I don't know what anyone would have done in that situation. 256 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:36,719 Perhaps it was more of a risk than you think, Mildred. 257 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,560 I found them in my office. 258 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:48,071 You mean the gun wasn't loaded? 259 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,766 You knew that all the time? 260 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:57,281 I could have gotten my head blown off for nothing. 261 00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,678 Well, maybe I can find a use for these later. 262 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:04,221 What do you think they want? 263 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,690 One thing's for certain- 264 00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,762 They chose this building for a reason. 265 00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,498 And they want me. 266 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,568 Where is Blitzen? Huh? 267 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,371 When are we getting on with this thing? 268 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,033 Relax. Everything's moving right on schedule. 269 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:27,442 What schedule? You're the only one who knows the schedule. 270 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,709 You know, if you look hard enough... 271 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,114 there's a silver lining in every cloud. 272 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,709 Oh, yeah? What's yours? 273 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,886 Well, I'm here. 274 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,962 And Judith's in Sherman Oaks. 275 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,291 Do you know that for the past 13 years... 276 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,734 that harpy's told me how to decorate the tree? 277 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,898 "The star is crooked, Jack. Watch the lights, Jack. 278 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,067 "Don't let them touch the carpet, Jack. 279 00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:01,305 Do you want to start a fire, Jack?" 280 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,611 Yeah, you're damn right I want to start a fire- under her. 281 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:08,914 Here's to captivity. 282 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,251 Long may it last. 283 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:16,258 I like you, Eggnog. 284 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,864 Even if you are one of those dirty draft dodgers. 285 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:23,366 Oh, I wanted to go, desperately. 286 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,437 But the old ticker- What could I do? 287 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:28,995 What every other smart guy did- stay home and rake in the bread... 288 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,167 while I was up to my elbows in slime. 289 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:35,042 Answer it. 290 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,846 Remington Steele Investigations. 291 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,857 Happy holidays. 292 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,557 It's the shrew of Sherman Oaks. 293 00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:56,156 He left. 294 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,897 I'm sorry, Mrs. Denver. Jack left hours ago. 295 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:03,668 Sir? May I please be excused? 296 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,675 I have to go to the bathroom. 297 00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:08,837 Please. I'm going to embarrass myself... 298 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,847 if I don't get to the bathroom. 299 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,850 I thought you flower children let it all hang out. 300 00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,978 Why don't you go behind a plant, like we had to do in the jungle? 301 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,624 There's a bathroom in my office. 302 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,717 No windows. No way out. 303 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:26,097 Okay. 304 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:34,871 She's relentless. She'll call back every 15 seconds. 305 00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:37,999 She's probably terrified I'm having a good time. 306 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,273 I told you, Mrs. Denver. There's no one he- 307 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,877 - It's for him. - Take it. 308 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,197 Steele here. 309 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,898 Albert Hastings? 310 00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,903 He owns the building. 311 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,064 Ah. Yes, Mr. Hastings. 312 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:13,406 Uh-huh. Ye- Uh- 313 00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:21,486 Um, by any chance, did you deliver... 314 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,317 a Christmas present to Mr. Hastings in my name? 315 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,721 Tell him to shut up and look out his window. 316 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,589 Um, nothing personal, Mr. Hastings... 317 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:33,256 but could you shut up and look out the window? 318 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:36,334 Yes, sir, that's what I said. Shut up and look out the window. 319 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,766 He says he's gonna break our lease. 320 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:47,936 Never wanted a private investigator in here in the first place. 321 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:51,948 They attract the wrong sort of people to his building. 322 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:54,018 Hmm? 323 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,178 - He's at the window. - What does he see? 324 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,782 What do you see? 325 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:03,588 He sees this building. 326 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,632 Tell him to keep watching. 327 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:12,135 The advice I get is to keep watching. 328 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,585 Here. Read that to him. 329 00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:35,990 Uh, I've just been handed a note to read to you. 330 00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:38,585 "Unless I receive $2 million... 331 00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,995 "with nonconsecutive serial numbers... 332 00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:44,591 "by 7:00 tomorrow morning... 333 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,365 "your building will be blown up... 334 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,497 one floor at a time. " 335 00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:53,771 Merry Christmas, everybody. 336 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:58,282 May we all live to see the new year. 337 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:17,734 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. 338 00:22:33,885 --> 00:22:36,115 Doesn't make sense. 339 00:22:36,221 --> 00:22:38,849 There's nothing stirring out there. Not a- 340 00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:41,755 Not a car or person- nothing. 341 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,590 That wasn't exactly a firecracker that went off. 342 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:48,393 Doesn't anybody know what's going on around here? 343 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,094 The Taking of Pelham One Two Three. 344 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,865 - What? - Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw. 345 00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,872 United Artists, 1974. 346 00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:59,273 We're all gonna die like dogs, and he's talking about a movie? 347 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:04,213 Movies often help Mr. Steele clarify a situation. 348 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,409 That is what you're doing, isn't it? 349 00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:09,385 Four men take a subway train hostage. 350 00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:12,514 They demand ransom, or they'll kill all the passengers. 351 00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:15,752 Only problem is, once they get the money, how do they get away... 352 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:18,762 in a subway? 353 00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:21,492 The train's movement is electronically charted from up above. 354 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,830 What are you guys talking about? 355 00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:26,961 - Subway trains. - Ah. 356 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,399 It seems our captors are in much the same predicament. 357 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:35,002 The explosion draws the police... 358 00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:37,741 the police seal off the building. 359 00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:39,783 How do the Santas get out? 360 00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:43,787 Perhaps Blitzen holds the key to that. Hmm? 361 00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:48,326 Well, I'm in no mood to sit around and wait for him to make fools of us. 362 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,055 Mmm. Dancer has a gun. 363 00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,429 Two actually. 364 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,299 Might be helpful to learn if the other Santas are armed. 365 00:23:59,404 --> 00:24:02,532 One way to find out. 366 00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:06,000 Um- 367 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:11,378 That, uh, little escapade with the gun... 368 00:24:11,483 --> 00:24:13,644 didn't lower your estimation of me, did it? 369 00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:22,217 In my opinion... 370 00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:24,989 both you and Mildred were far too reckless. 371 00:24:26,331 --> 00:24:28,299 Hmm. 372 00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:42,241 This is crazy. 373 00:24:42,347 --> 00:24:46,909 - Sit. - This is cruel and inhuman and crazy! 374 00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:50,647 Why are you doing this to us? Why are you keeping us here? What do you want? 375 00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:53,747 - Sit down! - I can't sit down! I can't stand it anymore! 376 00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:57,022 The heat, the fear- Oh, please.! 377 00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,358 Please! Please let us go! Please! 378 00:24:59,464 --> 00:25:02,024 We won't tell anyone. We promise. We swear! 379 00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:05,534 - Please! - Lady- Lady, I'm not too happy about things myself. 380 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:08,538 Now don't make it any worse! 381 00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:12,876 - He's clean. - Oh. 382 00:25:12,978 --> 00:25:14,878 - Oh! - Well, it, uh- 383 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:18,381 It worked once. I don't think Prancer's gonna go for an encore. 384 00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:21,418 Perhaps I can enlist Mildred. 385 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,956 Mmm. 386 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:30,852 Listen. I need a drink. 387 00:25:30,962 --> 00:25:33,726 Can I get something to drink? 388 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:36,130 Yeah. And bring me one too. 389 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:45,703 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. 390 00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:53,181 Judy. 391 00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:56,486 Judy. 392 00:25:58,590 --> 00:26:00,581 Judy! 393 00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:03,422 Shh, shh, shh. 394 00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:09,491 She's not a bad woman. Really. 395 00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:12,661 She's not mean intentionally. 396 00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:15,296 She doesn't even know that she's nagging me to death. 397 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:18,137 Shejust wants the best for me... 398 00:26:19,477 --> 00:26:22,503 and the kids. 399 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:25,208 She stays at home. 400 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:28,912 Cooks- and cleans. 401 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:33,116 There's always a fresh pie in the oven. 402 00:26:33,224 --> 00:26:35,658 Does the kids' homework for them. 403 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,058 Oh, God! 404 00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:40,757 I miss her! 405 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:44,796 I liked you better when you didn't. 406 00:26:45,870 --> 00:26:48,202 Oh, please. 407 00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:51,104 Let me call her. 408 00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:54,474 Let me tell her how much I love her. 409 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:57,309 She deserves to hear that. 410 00:26:57,415 --> 00:27:03,217 I haven't said that to her in... five years. Oh. 411 00:27:03,321 --> 00:27:06,119 No. I'm sorry, Eggnog. Gotta keep the lines open. 412 00:27:06,224 --> 00:27:09,523 Oh, Judith! 413 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:12,188 How can I make this up to you? 414 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,925 Hey. You really want to do something for your old lady? 415 00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:18,025 - Oh, yes. Yes. - Yeah? Come here. 416 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:21,663 How much insurance you got? 417 00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,673 Why? 418 00:27:23,775 --> 00:27:26,369 One pill. 419 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,912 Back of the head. Quick. Painless. 420 00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:31,744 A great Christmas present. 421 00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:35,877 Every time she spends a dime, she thinks of you. 422 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:38,285 I don't love her that much. 423 00:27:44,696 --> 00:27:46,596 Put a lid on it, will you? 424 00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:50,566 Hey, you! Girlie, shut up! 425 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,569 I'm not here. 426 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,730 I'm in a green space. 427 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,603 The sun is warm on my face. 428 00:27:57,709 --> 00:28:01,543 A cool breeze rippling my hair. 429 00:28:01,646 --> 00:28:04,137 Peace and contentment... 430 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:07,616 far away from this foul, vicious place. 431 00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:10,654 Leave her alone. She's a flower child- 432 00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:13,189 filled with peace and love for all mankind. 433 00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:16,192 Ain't that right, Dipsy? 434 00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:22,024 Hey! I bet you used to run around sticking flowers in guns, huh? 435 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:26,263 If I had a gun now, I know where I'd stick it. 436 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:30,740 You see, it don't take much to push even the most peaceful soul over the edge. 437 00:28:30,842 --> 00:28:33,572 I bet you enjoy that. Don't you? 438 00:28:33,678 --> 00:28:35,646 Pushing people over the edge? 439 00:28:35,747 --> 00:28:39,148 - Everybody's gotta have a hobby. - Yeah, well, mine ain't dying! 440 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,153 Look. We're trapped in here. 441 00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:48,783 Any minute, they'll come blasting through the doors. This isn't what I signed on for. 442 00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:51,259 Then what did you sign on for, Donner? 443 00:28:51,362 --> 00:28:54,331 Prancer. I'm Prancer, for God sakes! 444 00:28:54,432 --> 00:28:56,400 Sorry. 445 00:28:56,501 --> 00:29:01,063 He said all I had to do was sit on some people for a few hours... 446 00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:04,005 I walk away with five grand. 447 00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:06,407 Five grand on Christmas ain't nothin' to sneeze at. 448 00:29:06,511 --> 00:29:08,411 I've been out of work for eight months. 449 00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:11,004 They cut off my unemployment. My kids- 450 00:29:11,116 --> 00:29:13,107 They walk around with newspapers in their shoes... 451 00:29:13,218 --> 00:29:16,278 like it's a damn depression or something. 452 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,582 I don't care about the dough now. 453 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:21,181 I just want to walk away with my skin. 454 00:29:21,292 --> 00:29:26,195 You know, I had a lieutenant like you in my outfit once. 455 00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:28,788 Fragged him. 456 00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:32,063 The joint is probably crawling with cops. 457 00:29:32,170 --> 00:29:35,333 At least, give me a piece. You got two. I don't even got a penknife. 458 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,273 Hmm. 459 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,174 Careful you don't shoot off a vital organ. 460 00:29:43,481 --> 00:29:45,540 Great. 461 00:29:45,650 --> 00:29:47,618 Now they're both armed. 462 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,314 Not really. 463 00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:54,050 The agency gun doesn't have any bullets in it. 464 00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:56,127 Boss has 'em. 465 00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:01,227 Did he know that when he had the gun? 466 00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:03,732 Mm-hmm. 467 00:30:03,835 --> 00:30:05,962 He saved my life. 468 00:30:08,506 --> 00:30:11,134 Quite an actor, our Mr. Steele. 469 00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:29,019 Tell them you have to go to the bathroom. 470 00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:31,652 But I don't have to go to the bathroom. 471 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,739 What's the matter with you? 472 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,809 - I have to go to the bathroom. - I'll help him. 473 00:30:52,317 --> 00:30:55,775 You know, now that we're here, I think I do have to go. 474 00:30:55,887 --> 00:30:58,549 Later. I'm gonna try and maneuver Prancer out of the room. 475 00:30:58,656 --> 00:31:01,284 - D-Donner. That one is Donner. - Whoever it is... 476 00:31:01,392 --> 00:31:03,451 once I get him out, build a fire in the waste basket. 477 00:31:03,561 --> 00:31:05,722 It has to be absolutely white-hot, so use as much paper... 478 00:31:05,830 --> 00:31:07,730 as you can possibly find. 479 00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:10,062 - Then throw these in. - What for? 480 00:31:10,168 --> 00:31:12,068 If we're living right, they should explode... 481 00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:15,037 hopefully diverting Dancer long enough for me to get his gun. 482 00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:17,664 I- I don't think I could do that. 483 00:31:19,477 --> 00:31:23,174 Ordinary men in extraordinary situations... 484 00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:26,648 often find courage they never knew they had. 485 00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:28,810 I think you're that kind of man, Doctor. 486 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,583 And if that appeal doesn't sway you... 487 00:31:32,690 --> 00:31:34,783 then think of your branch office in Encino. 488 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,020 Give me the bullets. 489 00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:43,095 - He's all right? - Yeah, sure. It's just nerves like the rest of us. 490 00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,431 Shall we see what's keeping Miss Holt with those drinks? 491 00:31:45,536 --> 00:31:47,561 I don't know how I got roped into this. 492 00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:50,072 Well, that's not true. I wanted the money. 493 00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:52,165 Think you'll live to spend it? 494 00:31:52,277 --> 00:31:54,837 I wanted it to hire a lawyer. I- I go to trial next week. 495 00:31:54,946 --> 00:31:56,937 You know, a little job that went sour. 496 00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,573 Three years in the slammer don't look so bad right now. 497 00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:01,584 Mm-hmm. You could help us. 498 00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:04,780 And go against Dancer? 499 00:32:06,190 --> 00:32:08,954 - I'll take my chances with the cops. - Hmm. 500 00:32:18,169 --> 00:32:20,137 Yeah? 501 00:32:20,238 --> 00:32:23,571 Well, it took you guys long enough to get here. 502 00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:26,610 Hey, hold on to your pants. He'll be out in a minute. 503 00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:28,975 You go talk to the guys in blue. 504 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,674 Let them know how serious we are. 505 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,842 And tell them to make way for Blitzen. 506 00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:53,202 - Steele? - What are you doing to my building? 507 00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:56,671 Now march back in there and tell those hoodlums that the authorities... 508 00:32:56,774 --> 00:32:59,334 take a very dim view of the destruction of private property. 509 00:32:59,444 --> 00:33:03,380 - What about the people in there? - Oh, well. Them too, of course. 510 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:06,041 - How many hostages? - Seven, including me. 511 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:08,516 - Then there's Dancer, Donner, and Prancer. - Reindeer? 512 00:33:08,619 --> 00:33:11,679 - Code names. They're all dressed up as Santas. - How apropos. 513 00:33:11,789 --> 00:33:14,189 Only one's armed. He's the most dangerous. 514 00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:16,886 The bomb squad's going through the building now. So far, nothing. 515 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,987 You want to have them check anything wrapped as Christmas presents. 516 00:33:20,098 --> 00:33:23,556 A Santa delivering Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve wouldn't arouse any suspicions. 517 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,193 How the hell do they expect to get out of here? 518 00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:29,239 They're waiting for another Santa- Blitzen. He's the one with the escape plan. 519 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:31,331 - So send him through. - What about tear gas? 520 00:33:31,442 --> 00:33:33,410 First whiff, and he'll shoot anything that moves. 521 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:36,776 - All right. We'll come up with something. - Come up with two million. 522 00:33:36,881 --> 00:33:40,248 I made a few phone calls first to see if my insurance covers this sort of- 523 00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:43,787 I don't care about your insurance company, Mr. Hastings. 524 00:33:43,888 --> 00:33:47,153 The one in there that they call Dancer is a road company Rambo. 525 00:33:47,258 --> 00:33:50,591 If he doesn't get the money, everyone's gonna be a casualty. Do you understand? 526 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,926 If I have to take it to the Supreme Court, I am going to break your lease! 527 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:57,433 Oh, damn it, doc. 528 00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,734 It's not loaded. 529 00:34:05,843 --> 00:34:08,778 - I have to get out of here! - Oh, no.! 530 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,075 - Ahh. - Ahh. 531 00:34:13,618 --> 00:34:16,746 I'd love to splatter that pretty face all over this room. 532 00:34:16,854 --> 00:34:19,288 Hey, Steele, how did I do? 533 00:34:21,359 --> 00:34:24,556 One blink, one twitch, one sneeze that I don't know about... 534 00:34:24,662 --> 00:34:26,630 and none of you people are gonna be around... 535 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,722 to read what a terrifying time you had. 536 00:34:34,705 --> 00:34:37,469 Blitzen! Thank God! 537 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:40,976 I'm sorry I'm late, but what the hell? 538 00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:44,014 The party's still going on. 539 00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:47,016 - Blitzen? - Felix Cradle. 540 00:34:47,118 --> 00:34:50,918 I wanna- I wanna ask you a question. What's goin' on here? 541 00:34:52,557 --> 00:34:56,323 I know I'm a little bit late- 542 00:34:56,427 --> 00:35:00,761 but is that any reason to hire three Santa Clauses? 543 00:35:00,865 --> 00:35:05,199 Besides, I have been entertaining kids all afternoon... 544 00:35:05,303 --> 00:35:09,171 and I needed a little something to steady my nerves. 545 00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:13,706 Hey! Lighten up. 546 00:35:13,811 --> 00:35:18,510 Didn't anybody tell you it's Christmas Eve? 547 00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:23,616 Boy, this is one tough room. 548 00:35:48,246 --> 00:35:50,237 Any word from Hastings? 549 00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:59,483 Christmas was always one of my favorite holidays. 550 00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,991 It was the one day in the year where... 551 00:36:03,094 --> 00:36:06,120 everyone seemed to get along with everyone else. 552 00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:09,365 Even my mother. 553 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:13,637 And my father- 554 00:36:15,973 --> 00:36:18,441 He'd always give me a box of Parlaits. 555 00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:20,909 What's that? 556 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:25,610 Candy. 557 00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:28,617 - It's my favorite candy in the whole world. - Oh. 558 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,052 Christmas doesn't hold any special memories for you, does it? 559 00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:34,454 I remember one. 560 00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:40,229 I saw this father and his son- 561 00:36:40,331 --> 00:36:43,562 They were walking in the snow, hand in hand. 562 00:36:43,668 --> 00:36:46,728 The boy was about my age- 10 or 11. 563 00:36:46,837 --> 00:36:48,805 He had a sled, and- 564 00:36:51,742 --> 00:36:54,711 I don't know why- 565 00:36:54,812 --> 00:36:57,042 I followed them. 566 00:36:57,148 --> 00:36:59,582 I told myself it was for the sled. 567 00:36:59,684 --> 00:37:03,347 I was gonna snatch it from the boy, sell it for a couple quid... 568 00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:06,582 see if I could buy myself a place to kip that night. 569 00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:13,093 But that wasn't it at all. 570 00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:17,267 I just wanted to see- 571 00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:20,030 What? 572 00:37:21,472 --> 00:37:23,372 They went up the steps. 573 00:37:23,474 --> 00:37:26,102 Small house. Nothing fancy. 574 00:37:30,147 --> 00:37:33,776 If I hung over the railings, I could look into the front room. 575 00:37:35,653 --> 00:37:38,781 There was a Christmas tree. 576 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:41,187 Presents. 577 00:37:41,292 --> 00:37:43,886 Not a lot. 578 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:48,455 People... smiling. 579 00:37:50,468 --> 00:37:54,063 All warm and... 580 00:37:54,171 --> 00:37:56,605 - loving. - What did you do? 581 00:37:56,707 --> 00:37:59,471 Threw a rock through the window and ran like hell. 582 00:38:02,013 --> 00:38:04,607 Oh, dear. 583 00:38:15,626 --> 00:38:19,392 One Flexible Flyer, coming up. 584 00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:48,390 I made some fresh coffee. 585 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,960 Hey, Eggnog, what time you got? 586 00:38:52,463 --> 00:38:54,363 Twenty to 7:00. 587 00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:56,399 One way or another, won't be long now. 588 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:59,060 I want a baby! 589 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,670 Uh, just one more, Jake. 590 00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:05,708 I got to entertain some idiots in Century City. 591 00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:10,742 I know what you're thinking. 592 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,009 "Allison Greene's got it made. 593 00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:15,449 She's the perfect woman of the '80s. " 594 00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:18,545 And why shouldn't you? I do all the correct '80s things. 595 00:39:18,656 --> 00:39:22,092 I read Cosmo, shop Bloomingdale's, drive a Beemer. 596 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:24,184 So you tell me. Can any of you tell me... 597 00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:28,857 why am I so... unfulfilled? 598 00:39:28,966 --> 00:39:32,367 Why do I feel so empty... 599 00:39:32,470 --> 00:39:35,200 so meaningless? 600 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,298 I was going to work at home today. Christmas day! 601 00:39:38,409 --> 00:39:42,038 I was going to eat my 300-calorie frozen Noodles Romanoff... 602 00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:46,105 and try to come up with a new way to sell feminine hygiene products... 603 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:49,380 to people who don't want them- and don't need them! 604 00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:56,387 I'm warm, loving. 605 00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:58,621 I want to give- 606 00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:02,790 nurture something that has some... meaning in life. 607 00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:06,262 Something worthwhile. 608 00:40:07,671 --> 00:40:10,640 And now I'm gonna die before I even have the chance. 609 00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:15,078 I want a baby. 610 00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:17,511 Come over here, sweetie. I think I can help you out. 611 00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:21,684 Yuck. 612 00:40:24,688 --> 00:40:27,248 All right, men. Saddle up. 613 00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:34,259 Well, children, looks like we all get a free trip to the promised land. 614 00:40:37,835 --> 00:40:39,803 Yeah? 615 00:40:41,338 --> 00:40:43,898 Well, you got in just under the wire, pal. 616 00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:48,136 The money's here. 617 00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:52,943 You-You go get it. 618 00:40:53,050 --> 00:40:57,350 Me? Why me? I don't want to go out there. 619 00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:00,856 I'll go. I was the one who established contact with them. 620 00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:04,860 No. She goes. 621 00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:10,563 My purse! Everything I own is in it! 622 00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:13,068 Don't! No! 623 00:41:13,170 --> 00:41:16,230 Don't shoot! Please don't shoot! 624 00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:19,673 Okay. We got the dough. Now how do we get out of here with it? Huh? 625 00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:21,802 That was Blitzen's end. Wasn't it? 626 00:41:21,912 --> 00:41:23,903 How was he gonna do it? 627 00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:26,744 Plastic explosives. Tie 'em to the slugs. 628 00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:29,843 Pressure-point detonators-you know, like hand grenades without a pin. 629 00:41:29,954 --> 00:41:31,888 The cops drop us-They blow sky-high. 630 00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:35,550 Oh. Change of plans seems to be in order here, doesn't it? 631 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,593 Come on, Dancer. You're running this operation. 632 00:41:37,695 --> 00:41:41,859 - Give us our marching orders. - Wait a minute. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. 633 00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:45,766 Oh, come on. Give it up, mate. The string's run out. 634 00:41:45,870 --> 00:41:50,603 You know, I- I hope you like Santa. 635 00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:54,769 Yeah, pretty boy. 'Cause it's the last thing you're ever gonna see. 636 00:41:59,049 --> 00:42:01,074 Answer it! 637 00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:06,548 Laura Holt. 638 00:42:06,657 --> 00:42:09,023 - What? - What is it? 639 00:42:09,126 --> 00:42:12,584 Eva said she was instructed to take the money down to the lobby. 640 00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:15,062 What? 641 00:42:15,165 --> 00:42:17,224 I didn't tell her to do that! 642 00:42:18,502 --> 00:42:20,561 She was supposed to bring the money back here. 643 00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:23,037 What the hell is goin' on here? 644 00:42:51,835 --> 00:42:53,735 Remote controlled detonator. 645 00:42:53,837 --> 00:42:56,567 She set off the explosion... 646 00:42:56,674 --> 00:42:58,938 when she went into the bathroom. 647 00:43:01,378 --> 00:43:04,040 When the money arrives, select the plant lady... 648 00:43:04,148 --> 00:43:06,742 no matter how much she protests. 649 00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:08,943 Is that Blitzen? 650 00:43:10,688 --> 00:43:13,316 Well, why record something you're going to say on the telephone? 651 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:15,449 Unless- 652 00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:24,191 When the money arrives... 653 00:43:24,301 --> 00:43:28,101 select the plant lady, no matter how much she protests. 654 00:43:28,205 --> 00:43:31,072 You'd record it so you can change the speed of the tape... 655 00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:34,474 to sound like something you're not- a man. 656 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:41,078 She's Blitzen. 657 00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:43,983 Steele here. Hmm? 658 00:43:44,088 --> 00:43:45,988 She never reached the lobby. 659 00:43:46,090 --> 00:43:49,082 For your information, Captain, the little lady with the $2 million... 660 00:43:49,193 --> 00:43:51,684 is also the author of this Kafkaesque drama. 661 00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:56,095 Yeah. Keep in touch. Hmm? Okay. Bye. 662 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,431 They're starting a floor-by-floor search. 663 00:43:59,536 --> 00:44:03,734 You've been had, pal. She never intended for any of you to escape. 664 00:44:05,509 --> 00:44:07,477 But how is she gonna do it? 665 00:44:07,578 --> 00:44:10,274 I mean, there is a sea of blue down there. 666 00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:13,515 - That's it. - That's it. 667 00:44:26,363 --> 00:44:29,389 Put it down. 668 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,094 - She'll get away. - I want her to. 669 00:44:32,202 --> 00:44:35,137 If it's the last thing I do... 670 00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,571 I am going to hunt her down... 671 00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,609 and then I'm going to squeeze... 672 00:44:39,710 --> 00:44:44,079 that two million out of her, penny by penny. 673 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:51,086 Hello, Sweetie. 674 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:56,251 Now let's you and me see if those 300-calorie dinners can stop a bullet. 675 00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:00,592 No! 676 00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:08,869 Okay. One blink, one twitch... 677 00:45:08,972 --> 00:45:12,271 one sneeze I don't know about, and you'll be home for Christmas in a box. 678 00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:14,776 Nicely put, Mildred. 679 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,906 Mildred, call the lobby. Tell them what to look for. 680 00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:30,559 - Remington Steele! - I'm with him. 681 00:45:39,169 --> 00:45:41,069 How are your instincts? 682 00:45:41,171 --> 00:45:43,071 - Same as yours. - Let's go. 683 00:46:52,943 --> 00:46:56,344 You know, all things considered, it wasn't such a bad Christmas party. 684 00:46:56,446 --> 00:47:00,143 I wouldn't mind making it an annual event. 685 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,650 But next year, I'm gonna bring Judith. 686 00:47:02,753 --> 00:47:05,017 Good, good. Take care, Jack. Bye-bye. 687 00:47:05,122 --> 00:47:07,647 - Yeah. - Bye. 688 00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:13,854 - What's this? - That's my bill. 689 00:47:13,964 --> 00:47:16,524 But don't worry. Since I was late, I only charged you... 690 00:47:16,633 --> 00:47:19,101 for the time I actually spent here. 691 00:47:21,638 --> 00:47:24,732 Well, I have some things to clean up in my office. 692 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,867 - Still going to work today? - Not on your life. 693 00:47:26,977 --> 00:47:29,002 I'm going upstairs to type my resignation. 694 00:47:29,112 --> 00:47:32,013 There's a whole world out there that has nothing to do with deodorant. 695 00:47:32,115 --> 00:47:34,015 Thank the good Lord. Merry Christmas. 696 00:47:34,117 --> 00:47:36,051 - Take care, Allison. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 697 00:47:36,153 --> 00:47:38,121 Bye. 698 00:47:40,824 --> 00:47:43,224 - Joyeux No�l. - Feliz Navidad. 699 00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:45,727 Merry Christmas, everyone. 700 00:47:45,777 --> 00:47:50,327 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0